Deer Me, What Can the Matter Be?

Apparently, human urine repels deer. I suggested that Martin begin peeing in bottles. We could not only keep our own deer away, but we could bottle up the lovely stuff and sell it for 30. a bottle.

Then poor souls who awaken to find their David Austen roses, among others, completely beheaded, could fly to Agway in a frenzy and buy more deer fence and our delightful bottled mixture.

It could not smell any worse than the concoction we mortgaged our house for this morning. Active ingredients include garlic and egg solids. It smells AMAZING. Think sulfur mixed with rotting Italian food mixed with. . .words escape me. Hopefully it will smell even worse to the deer. Martin is down in the sandpit spraying our pear trees and I can smell it from way up here. Only a few minutes ago did he realize pounding in stakes at 11:00 at night may upset the neighbors (this pounding, during a busy, loud afternoon, can be heard blocks and blocks away, over the creek and up the hill).

In other news Merry is wearing wild outfits; since Laura Pioneer always wears a petticoat, she has begun layering one dress on top of the other and blimey but she wears her great big Laura sun bonnet everywhere. The capacious bonnet is so ubiquitous I am now completely oblivious to the glances we attract in public, say while grocery shopping this afternoon as I bought out the section of popsicles and Turkey Hill. Did I mention how HOT it was today? But back to Merry--we checked out the first season of Little House; I hadn't seen it in years and had never realized how high both Pa's and Ma's voice really are. Merry is riveted. We watch an episode every Tuesday and Thursday night during Martin's class, and she always prepares a snack of some sort for us to eat as we watch: glasses of milk, say, and toffee, which she covers with tea towels or paper towels and then pulls off with a flourish as I enter the room.

I came upstairs after the first Little House viewing to find Merry tucked up in bed, snuggled into her pillow in her baseball cap. "Don't you want this off?" I said, removing the cap. Merry clamped her hand over the crown and then I realized the cap was a stand-in for a sleeping cap. We found a more suitable knitted hat, and she dutifully dons it every night before bed.

Today she bustled around the kitchen, bossing Elspeth, who takes her mothering with a grain of salt or a swat or scream. "Laura," she said to Elspeth and I interjected, "Merry, use her name. She doesn't understand."

"Elspeth," Merry addressed her sister obediently, and then under her breath added, "Laura!"

(I am just glad the videos haven't ruined her imaginary world. I discussed the movies with her and we talked about imagination, portrayal of character, etc., so the videos would not become prescriptive.)

Oh, as a PS, my friend found that bog salvia actually repels deer. It is a perennial but must be protected in a zone 6 winter. A few online catalogs sell it though it is a bit expensive. . .human urine seems like a more affordable option. And what a way to recycle!

Hope everyone out there is happy and deer free tonight!

Dolls, not deer, should be smug and satisfied.