XO Morning After--by Martin

Here it is, folks--the last Boston e-mail, but only the bit Martin actually wrote before leaving Boston. It's a fragment of his amazing three days, which included spits stuck through succulent sides of roasted meat, dim sum for breakfast, and sushi. Oh, yes, and the XO thing, which you can tell from the pictures was absolutely spectacular. All photos are by Daniel Van Ackere--click on his name for his fantastic site. And the remarkably handsome guy--BESIDES Martin of course, is Kurt.


When I woke this morning the gulls were circling outside the studio's big windows, and the sun we've had the last two days was replaced by a kind of sunless bright, sky like a cotton ball. I thought I'd slept until 10, but it was only 8am--I'm still not able to sleep in, which is probably a good thing, given my short stay here and return to routine Tuesday. And the couch may be taking its toll on me: When I sat up from sleep and looked around, I had a crick in the right side of my neck that prevented me from turning more than 30 degrees; I'll be fine today as long as I don't have to cross any busy streets (can't swivel head to watch for traffic) or say "no" non-verbally.

X/O is over. Kurt and I spent the morning talking, and already the whole event felt distant, like it happened last week, or last year. I liken it to our wedding, in this respect: I was so in the action of what happened that I sort of missed what happened. I've felt the same way at other readings I've given--where after it's over, I've got great recall of someone who read before me, or someone who read after, but little memory of my own contribution. And maybe that's because I'm trying to be fully present, in the moment, so that in experiencing it, I later cannot objectify it. Normally, I'm sort of like Merry--watching things happen, internalizing them, feeling slightly peripheral.

I mean, walking to dinner last night after X/O, we passed this birthday party taking place in a rented storefront, and it was like something out of a movie--there was an mc, a stocked bar, and a dance floor chocked full of hip looking men and women dressed in fashion magazine clothes. You could see all this from the sidewalk. And I thought to myself, a) I can't think of any place I'd less like to be; and b) if I were there, I would not be able to enter the fun--I'd be clinging to the wall for safety, paying attention, not really unhappy, not resentful--just not "in." Last night, I was "in." I didn't spend much time imagining how things would be during the show, and now that it's done, I don't think I'll do much second-guessing.

& don't forget to check out more about XO on Kurt's website HERE.